#1. Podcast intro - [00:00:00]
Russell, Matt and Gee welcome listeners to this week's podcast with a short intro. Topics include Matt's vasectomy, fathering and adoption.
#2. Matt's close encounter - [00:03:47]
This week's show is pre-recorded due to it being Easter, Matt and his family plan to spend Easter Sunday round Russell's country dwellings. Matt talks about the time he saw strange lights in the sky when he lived in North London. Russell talks about his own UFO encounter when he lived in LA, although it sounds like he might have mistaken an eye floater for an unidentified see-through flying object and Matt talks about the time he spent in LA with Russell during the Radio 2 days.
#3. There's something up with Laura, she's making a lot of racket - [00:18:31]
The boys discuss a new dating site that matches people based on their credit score. Russell tells of a man he saw on "This Morning" who can determine where you live just by looking through your shopping. Russell and Matt talk about their experiences with childbirth and Matt quizzes Russell as to why he hired a private midwife when he claims to have had an NHS baby.
#4. Smoking at 14 - [00:27:15]
Matt tells Russell about a recent misunderstanding he had with his wife, Katie, after commenting on a group of school girls for smoking. Russell tells about a traumatic experience he had trying to free an insect from a sticky fly trap, only to end up accidentally maiming the poor creature resulting in a very undignified death. Russell talks about his many experiences with pentecostal churches and a particular preacher who attempted a faith healing on ol'Russ, and although nothing happened, Russell played along anyway.
#5. I tried to make it clap - [00:40:21]
Matt explains how he knew about the "dantian". He first learnt about it back in the 6 Music days when his manager, John Noel, made him go to confidence classes with a bizarre woman in an attempt to make him feel more relaxed and confident on-air. It didn't work and he only went twice. Russell tells Matt he's becoming a bee keeper. He already has the suit, he's just waiting for the bee's now. Matt is understandably concerned about Russell's new hobby, telling him "I bet you're going to get stung to death".
#6. Is Noel Gallagher impervious to bullying? - [00:47:36]
Matt promotes a Judas Priest charity night a friend of his has organised. Russell is confused but agrees to go along anyway. Matt suggests they also get Noel Gallagher to go along and bully him into getting a tattoo, which are being done for free at the event. Matt and Russell discuss possible matching tattoos they could get together to commemorate their time on-air.
#7. Don't cut off your squibble, mate! - [00:58:57]
Russell reads some news story's, the first being about an Australian man who downed lobsters and vodka before fleeing a restaurant and trying to swim to freedom, and the second about an American man who claims to be the rightful king of England... Matt has been forced to move his home office into his bedroom to make more room for his children, and much to the horror of Russell, Matt announces that he's getting a vasectomy.
#8. All history should be garbled at you - [01:12:00]
Russell's done a bit of research and has found a non-surgical alternative to a vasectomy in the form of an injection. The side effects are mood swings and acne, but who's going to notice those! Matt's not convinced... Russell reads an email about a drunk man who tried to do a runner from a black cab. Fans of the 6 Music and Radio 2 shows will be delighted to hear Russell talk about Harmonica Matt, a man who played the harmonica at Liverpool Street station. Russell promotes his re:birth tour. Russell and Matt talk about Victorian times and Russell schools Matt on the life on Tom Thumb, a little person who made a name for himself in the Barnum & Bailey circus and even entertained Queen Victoria... Mr Gee summarises the show as usual with a poem.