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The Ricky Gervais Show on XFM, Series 2

Episode 23 Aired 25 January 2003

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Stephen is nominated for a 'Most Eligible Bachelor' award, and early Monkey News is born, called 'Chimpanzee That!'


#1. There Was This Woman Who's Got a Big Head - [00:00:00]

Ricky intros the show, including that Karl is fed up with Do We Need 'Em? and giving that up. Ricky's got a new feature idea in which people will call up and have Karl solve their problems. Ricky and Steve give Karl stick for last week's Rockbusters snafu, and Ricky's got some fictional scenarios for Karl to solve, both of which involve stuck penises. Karl's used to freaks, and they reminisce once again about the two lads with big heads and webbed hands. Karl's read about a woman whose head was so big she couldn't hold it up, so the doctors took it off to chip off some bone, then put it back on.


David Bowiekarl PilkingtontableViagra

#2. It's Like an Investment - [00:05:55]

Call in with issues for Karl to solve, but not issues about war. He does have some advice about war, though, involving a bath and a mattress. Karl's dad doesn't like to be ripped off and is charging storage rent on a catalogue he's been sent from the company he bought a bed from.



#3. All I'm Gonna Win is a Moped - [00:10:58]

Ricky was a latecomer to Nick Cave. Steve's got some exciting news, but before that, more Karl vs. Steve banter. He's been nominated as one of the 50 Most Eligible Bachelors in Company Magazine, fulfilling an earlier fantasy of his. He's angry that his prize won't be as good as whoever won last year. Ricky is incredulous.


Company magazineJustin Timberlake

#4. Chuckin' a Stone in the Air - [00:15:07]

Ricky's got a new idea for a feature with Karl called Chimpanzee That. In the meantime, email in with problems for Karl to solve. How would Karl deal with teenage tearaways? Karl's got a story about when he broke a car window and pretended to go to sleep to avoid getting caught, and also avoided his dad for fear of punishment. Then he shares about one night as a kid when his brother had a load of women around and Karl got to keep his tractor in the house to stay out of their way. Karl's parents had to move because girls kept claiming Mark was the father of their children.



#5. Rodney You Plonker! - [00:22:16]

It's time for Rockbusters and it's a roll-over prize week, but Karl hasn't added much. Ricky's sets him off on his atrocious but legendary Only Fools and Horses role plays. Sort of.


foolsRicky Gervaisrodney

#6. You are Here for Ricky Gervais' Amusement - [00:25:52]

Ricky's made Karl a bishop's hat out of a cardboard box and a wig out of bubble wrap during the songs. Ricky's got a jingle for the new feature and Karl's got a story about a monkey who got caught having a fag who got sent to prison. Karl has stumped people with Rockbusters.


#7. Don't Worry About Dancing - Get a Go Kart - [00:30:41]

Karl reckons there is more going on in space than just us. He's was thinking in the week: will the world ever get too heavy, with all the stuff we add to it? (A question which comes up again later). Steve and Ricky recount their version of the Legend of Atlantis for Karl, and Ricky's got a solution to the heavy world problem. Listener Jay writes in for help: he wants to be a dancer but his parents are trying to marry him off and keep him in school. Karl's OK with arranged marriage and used to want to be a dancer himself but got over it. Ricky is driven to frustration in learning the full story of Karl's pathetic attempt at this as a kid.


arranged marriage

#8. It Depends What You Get Impressed By - [00:36:54]

Ricky's got another new idea, which is something like They Think They're Good But They're Not That Good. Karl's not impressed by da Vinci because Tony Hart can paint an "aborigian" and an elephant in 3 minutes. He gives his (brief) thoughts on Newton, Gandhi, Brunel, Christ, and Richard Branson. Stephen manages to say "you know" 7 times in 20 seconds while explaining Gandhi. Suzanne wants to see the pyramids but Karl can't be bothered. He just likes the odd little thing, like (incorrectly) learning the origin of name of "Lego".


AppleRichard BransonStephen Hawking

#9. Too Many Dinosaurs - [00:42:23]

One listener wants to know where Richard Anderson is, and another has a fetish for how Ricky says Winnersh. More Lego chat including the proper etymology. Does Karl think it's OK for a tall woman to date a "little fella"? Karl's got a correction from last week as he got the museum worker's name wrong but he can't remember her real name now. There have been very few right answers this week to Rockbusters.


dinosaursLas VegaslegoRichard Anderson

#10. Just Stay Sat Down - [00:49:30]

Outros and one final request from Steve for the ladies to vote for him in the Eligible Bachelor contest. Karl thinks Steve's sorted himself out a bit since they first met, but does have one piece of advice for him. Ricky and Steve take issue with all 3 Rockbusters answers and threaten to bin all the features. Song For The Ladies to close is Beth Gibbons.


Andy Thompson



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Radio rip mp3 source: Man Moth
Original audio source: XFM
Artwork image source: XFM


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Aired:25 January 2003
Type:Radio Rip
MP3 Filesize:37.4 MB (96 kbps)
Runtime:53 minutes, 57 seconds
Added to Podrot:21/05/2016
Pre-recorded: No
Best of: No
Artist:Ricky Gervais
Album:The Ricky Gervais Show on XFM, Series 2
Published by:XFM
Guests:No guests

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