#1. Tortoise vs. Mayfly - [00:00:00]
Sad news to open the show, the world’s oldest tortoise died at 250 years old. Karl wonders if its life flashed before its eyes before it died. He thinks this can be proof of past lives. Karl feels like he once had a flash of a past life when he was taking a bath and had a memory of being in a wooden tub. Ricky said the tortoise died of liver failure and Karl thinks they should have tried to save it. Karl thinks the tortoise has got it right; it moves slow, eats healthy, and doesn’t get stressed out. Whereas mayflies that live one day are doing it wrong.
#2. Karl’s Brain - [00:06:00]
Karl wonders if the brain controls you or if you control your brain; he isn’t sure he is in charge of his. Once when he was making a shopping list, his brain reminded him to write down “onion.” Ricky tries to explain that there is no duality, he is his brain, but Karl doesn’t agree.
#3. Moon Mirror Revisited - [00:09:00]
People have emailed in to try and prove Ricky wrong about the mirror on the moon discussion, but Ricky defends his position. Karl thinks the moon isn’t worth visiting because it has no history. If there was important stuff up there, they wouldn’t have knocked golf balls about.
#4. Karl the Linguist - [00:12:50]
Steve asks Karl questions from Inside the Actor’s Studio. Karl doesn’t have a favourite word, he only uses them when he needs them. He does have a fondness for “alright,” and “fed up.” Steve thinks that “whinge” should be his favourite. Karl’s least favourite words are ones borrowed from French; he thinks we already have enough words. He also thinks we have too many letters in English. If you add a new word, you should have to get rid of an old one.
#5. Killer Octopus - [00:17:50]
Karl says that learning turns him on; Steve thinks that’s a good answer, but Ricky doubts that it’s true. Karl recently learned about a killer octopus that spits in the water and can do you in. He thinks this is unfair and is another reason to stay out of the sea. He no longer feels bad when people eat octopus, they should get rid of 'em.
#6. "You Knobhead" - [00:20:47]
Karl doesn’t have a favourite curse word because he doesn’t swear much, but he thinks “knobhead” sums it up. Karl was annoyed with the octopus, but he didn’t “eff and jeff” about it. Ricky then launches into a tirade of profanity directed at an octopus.
#7. Lao Tse: Advice for Spectators - [00:22:52]
Steve reads another entry from Karl’s diary. He looked up philosophers in the week after he got bored with Freud, but he only listed them, he didn’t include any information about them. He also wrote down some of his favourite quotes by Lao Tse including, “To lead people, walk behind them,” and, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Steve thinks this might be why spectators gather at the starting line at a race. Karl would rather stand at the finish line, unless the start wasn't as busy.
#8. Farewell, Rockbusters - [00:28:15]
Karl gives the answers to the final Rockbusters ever. Ricky and Steve like the first one, but mock the last two. Ricky says farewell and plugs the Video Podcast and The World of Karl Pilkington.