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The Ramblings of Matt Morgan, #3

Posted on February 28, 2017

Originally published: December 5th 2006
Related show(s): Episode 37Episode 38
Title: Embarrassing incidents when you've met famous people

Hello there, its Matt here. Well, who heard Russell’s interview with Morrissey on last week’s show? It was fairly fawning but nowhere near the level I was expecting. Obviously his asking for a cuddle at the end was a tad unusual (Russell not Moz). I don’t think Paxman does that, or does he?

Maybe in the green room after Newsnight he storms up to the German minister he has just grilled mercilessly and, in a baby-voice, demands a ‘cuggle’, during which he forcefully nuzzles the man’s neck ‘I’m sorry I was so short with you Herr Stolz; I was just showing off. Mmm, you smell lovely. What washing powder does Mrs Stolz use?- oh, sorry, sorry, I don’t know what came over me, you’re all creased now’. No, I think it is an interview technique employed solely by Mr Brand, and the notoriously difficult Morrissey responded pretty well to Russ’s maverick probing and awkward embrace.

Its funny that Morrissey won’t be called a performer, ‘seals perform, I appear live’ and ‘fans’ are not to be called such; they are his ‘audience’, a semiotic minefield so fraught that Princess Diana would have campaigned against it. Russell negotiated his way without any major gaffes but its not always that easy and that gives us our theme for this week. ‘Embarrassing incidents when you’ve met famous people’.

I once met Lulu and as she handed me something I tried to say ‘thank you’ but instead I blurted ‘Lulu’. Her own name mumbled back at her to convey gratitude. Oh, the shame. Let us know yours…

´╗┐The Ramblings of Matt Morgan, #2

Posted on February 27, 2017

Originally published: November 29th 2006
Related show(s): Episode 37
Title: Self Improvement

Hello Matt here,

What about Courtney Love saying she fancies me but I need to get my teeth fixed? A fact she reiterated to me again this week. It’s made me take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. My teeth ain’t that bad, but they’re certainly not pearly-white, L.A. gnashers. Courtney’s teeth cost a lot of money, she told us how much but I’ve blanked it out; it was a crazy sum. So much so, that if she ever needed to buy a hotel or a space-tourism flight she could crack out an incisor and pay with that.

The thing is, I think those Hollywood teeth are merely a veneer that goes over your actual teeth. Now, I don’t like the thought of my real, wonky teeth lurking behind the scenes like some deformed family member imprisoned in an attic. The thing is, one day they will break free and then you have a lot of questions to answer. Trust me.

Anyway, I think my gob is OK for now, especially for radio. Teeth can’t let you down in the aural medium; unless they grow wildly out of control and clink and scrape on a microphone; but that is months, if not years, away.

So anyway, this week we are talking about self-improvement, and how you got the message it was time for a change.

Apparently cats pad their owner as a show of affection. Russell has confided in me that his cat Morrissey pads him, but always on his liver. He thinks this may be a sign he needs some self-improvement to his liver, as though the cat were sensing some malady. Perhaps the cat is just sensing that it is a ‘lily-liver’ belonging to a man so cowardly he believes his innocent cat is a harbinger of doom? I think so.

​So anyway, when have you received a message to ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself’? Be it from Courtney Love, a cat or a series of invasive and humiliating medical tests. Let us know.

The Ramblings of Matt Morgan, #1

Posted on February 26, 2017

Originally published: November 21st 2006
Related show(s): Episode 35, Episode 36
Title: The pressure of being like R2

Hello listeners, Matt here, hope you enjoyed our first show on R2. It’s nice to say R2 as its R2-D2’s first name, used only by his closest friends such as Luke and C3P0. The D2’s were all very proud of R2, at first they thought he may bring shame to the D2 lineage but in the end they all thought R2 was a terrific guy. In fact a lot of the young D2 kids felt a bit in his shadow and the pressure to ‘be like uncle R2’ was mostly to blame for K1-D2 getting into drugs and kicking over a bin. So anyway, its nice to be on R2.

I am writing this because Russell is a man out of time; he proudly crosses roads confident that the motorcar will not be invented for another fifty years. Thus the idea of him writing a blog is like Samuel Pepys in a disco. This is a man who writes his Guardian columns by recording his voice on wax cyclinders which are then painstakingly transcribed by his PA. She has to use a quill because Russell is mistrustful of modern pens, believing rollerball technology to be the work of ‘some deville’. But I will try to get him to contribute when he can.

So anyway, next show we’ll be talking about conspiracy theories. We’d like to focus more on the small conspiracies that plague your life such as ‘someone keeps moving my bins’ and ‘are pavements getting smaller?’ more than Area 51 and The New World Order as we are planning to start a cult and we don’t want to draw the attention of the powers that be yet. So anyway, let us know what’s troubling you... bye.

6 NEW UPLOADS - Russell Brand's Got Issues (TV Series)

Posted on February 26, 2017

Russell Brand's Got Issues was an E4 show which ran for 6 episodes between September and October 2006. Each show was themed and included a different celebrity panelist (Lily Allen, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen/Michael Carroll, Jonathan Ross, Vanessa Feltz/Tim Westwood, Alan Cumming and Jessica Stevenson). As well as debating the show's theme, Russell also performed skits with his writing partner, radio co-host and muse; Matt Morgan.

Click here to watch all 6 episodes.

Thanks again to Liam Clark for providing the episodes.

5 NEW UPLOADS - The Russell Brand Show (TV Series)

Posted on February 26, 2017

In 2006, Channel 4 gave Russell his own TV Show which ran for 5 episodes between November and December. In these shows Russell interviewed guests including Matt Lucas, David Walliams, Courtney Love, Katarina Waters, Peter Andre, Katie Price, Emma Bunton, Sharon Osbourne, Matt Willis, Jade Goody, Reece Shearsmith & Steve Pemberton. With live music from Amy Winehouse, Morrissey, Primal Scream, Kasabian and Dirty Pretty Things. But perhaps best of all, the shows also included sketches featuring the nations favourite hypochondriac, Matt Morgan.

Click here to watch all 5 episodes.

Thank you to Liam Clark for providing the episodes.

The 18 most awesome things Rainbow's Bungle has ever done

Posted on February 03, 2017

Be warned: number 16 on this list could well bring your entire day to a standstill...


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